Lighter Thief

Do you realize if you borrow my lighter and put it in your pocket, I have to buy a new one?
- via Mich

Did you know you can now track your lighters?

Dear Backpack Jackass

"OK, you are a jackass with a backpack. Do you not realize this? If you enter a crowded area of people can you take your god-damned pack off your back and hold it on your side or something? Instead of walking through a crowd and bumping everyone in the head if they are sitting down or just bumping everyone around bopping through like an ass-hole! It really makes me want to set it on fire. I hope your "really important stuff" isn't in there because it will happen. That goes for the big-ass purse girls also." - Jody

Dear Crackhead at 7-11

"Listen, rude crackhead lady at the store: If I let you cut in line and go before me for no apparent reason, it's polite to say "Thank You", not "Excuse You". I totally get that rock cocaine fucks with your mind, but does it really have to make you impolite? I think not."  Logan Lynn

 

IM'ing

If we are IM'ing and you ask me a question that deserves a thoughtful response, don't start asking me more questions while I am typing.

Don't Pee Near Cougars

"Once, before the days of indoor plumbing, I peed outside while a couger sat there watching me. Luckily he wasn't hungry. Always carry a flashlight when peeing outdoors." - BAYS 3:16

How to NOT be an Asshole, Kittguana Style

Parking

Do you realize if you pulled forward 2 feet, I could park behind you?

Smoking and Driving

If you blow smoke out of your car window and I'm next to you, your smoke goes into my car.